In My Pocket
by Swamp Dragon Princess
Summary: Vaati finds himself in a rather unfortunate predicament, and the only person willing to help him out is the last person he wants to run into.
1. Chapter 1

Sorcerer in my Pocket:

Chapter 1: Wherein Vaati finds himself in an unfortunate predicament.

"And what's in it for me?" Suvi asked bluntly as she folded her arms across her chest, a thin smile of contempt forming on her angular face as she gazed at the miniature magician perched on the edge of her bookshelf. 'This ought to be good' she thought to herself.

"FINE!" he growled back at her "When I am returned to power…"

"_If" _Suvi corrected.

Vaati glared angrily at the gigantic girl before him in frustration. It was only a few days ago that he had loomed menacingly over her slight frame, sending shivers down her spine when he first encountered her in the library. That was the fateful day when Suvi's cram session for her final exams had led to an explosive argument over the relevance of magic in modern hyrulean medicine, as well as a lifetime ban from the reference section for both of them. The way Suvi saw it- she owed him some big time payback. And now, it seemed the goddesses had gifted her with the perfect opportunity.

Vaati closed his blood red eyes and slowly counted to ten, regaining his composure.

"If…..I am returned to power" he muttered, his eyes still closed, "perhaps I will….not…..kill you, along with the others"

Vaati opened his eyes to behold the giant sniggering at him.

Gah! He was losing another argument, to the same person, in the space of less than a week!

"That's your proposition?" Suvi laughed mockingly "You can't be serious?"

Suvi knew deep down that she shouldn't laugh so openly at him; after all, she was well aware of exactly what he was capable of, when he wasn't two inches tall that is. The stories of the things he'd done were legendary. Still, having a deranged purple chipmunk scream profanities at you in a ridiculously high pitched voice was the most hysterically funny thing to happen to her since the start of the semester. When she found him that morning, Suvi had almost collapsed in laughter upon observing him venting his frustrations by picking a fight with an innocent ladybug, unfortunately for Vaati, the ladybug won.

"Very well then" he replied, his superiority complex unwavering "perhaps I can find some sort of use for you, I assume as a doctor in training you have some degree of competence in menial tasks. Perhaps organising my royal pajamas for instance, or curator of my stamp collection"

Suvi roared even louder with laughter, the tears of glee trickling down her cheeks.

"Please, don't say anything more" she begged breathlessly, "I'm gonna pee"

She really couldn't believe the words that were coming from his mouth. For someone who was supposed to be all powerful, supremely intelligent and above all, immensely feared, he really didn't seem to grasp the enormity of his current predicament, no pun intended! It was quite possible that had he not been so intimidating when they first met that she would not have found his current situation so funny, then again it was also quite possible that she would have stepped on him, ridding the world of him once and for all.

"Okay, okay" Suvi giggled, wiping a hysterical tear from her eye, "let's say for a second that I agree to help you out, there's a few things I'm gonna need you to do for me…in advance"

Vaati glowered at her, his hands clenched into tiny fists turning white at the knuckle.

"I'm listening" he growled.

"For starters, you are gonna help me ace my final exam tomorrow, then we'll talk about what else you can do to help me out"

Vaati forked his eyebrows at her.

"You mean, help you cheat?"

Suvi pondered this accusation for a moment.

"Well, no, I wouldn't say cheat exactly. It's just that you, how do I put this; 'get' this magic stuff and unfortunately I don't, so, you help me to 'get' it and then maybe we can look into…making you…not…..this" she replied, her hand gesturing to all of him, or at least, all there was of him.

Vaati held his glare for a few moments, contemplating his reply.

How do I know you won't double cross me?" he replied eventually, cocking his head slightly to one side.

"How do I know you won't double cross _me_?" the girl retorted, folding her arms defensively across her chest. "Of course if you'd prefer, I can put you right back where I found you, or possibly somewhere more entertaining"

Vaati shuddered at her threat. This really had been the most inconvenient thing to happen to him in a very long time, including all that business with his former master, and that infernal green pixie boy, not to mention all those obnoxious shadow clones. He had been strolling along, relatively innocently when someone somewhere had hexed him back to his picori form, well sort of. He was minish in size except this time he retained his humanoid appearance, losing all that cuteness factor in the process. To make matters worse he had lost all his magic, except for some weak telepathy, which, so far only seemed to be effective on snails, stupid snails to be precise, the smart ones appeared to be immune; either that or they were just ignoring him. This time he really was up an excrement filled creek without a propulsion apparatus!

"Deal" he sighed reluctantly.

"Of course I will be wanting some form of insurance. Believe me I wouldn't trust you as far as I could throw you"

_Actually, right now she could probably have lobbed him pretty far, but you get the point._

Vaati groaned at the mention of insurance. In terms of insurance against him double crossing her that generally meant more hexes, and having already seen her handiwork in that department he felt pretty certain that she wouldn't be able to place any kind of binding spell on him without some form of assistance. That meant only one thing….

"Potion shop?"smiled the girl.

"Whatever" Vaati sighed despondently, burying his face in his hands.


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow, two stories updated in one night, I must be like butter, cos I'm on a roll! Anyways, thanks again to reader/reviewers alike, please let me know what you think!**

Chapter 2: Potion Shop; Wherein Vaati gets more than a little uncomfortable.

Vaati shifted rather uncomfortably in his little pencil tin bed and sock sleeping bag. It was the middle of the night and he still had yet to catch even a wink of sleep. The pencil tin felt hard underneath his body and the sock was incredibly itchy. The only other choice had been the corner of Suvi's pillow but even from his position on the window ledge her snoring was deafening. Eventually he gave up trying to get comfortable and decided to look out at the night sky instead. Perhaps a little stargazing would settle his mind.

Suvi had decided earlier that it was far too late in the day to visit the potion shop. At the close of business everyone was always in hurry to leave to get home and one could never be certain if one was getting good quality potions at that time of day. A few bad experiences had taught her that! Instead she'd fed the tiny sorcerer some toast and put him to bed.

"Cruel wench" he thought bitterly, "She could have at least put some jam on it"

Suvi's alarm went off ridiculously early the next morning. Vaati, having finally fallen asleep on the window sill, awoke with his tiny face smooshed up against the glass, leaving a picori shaped pattern in the condensation.

"Uuurrgh….what time is it?" he mumbled as he tried to replump his flattened cheeks.

"Seven o' clock" chirped Suvi, who was a ridiculously happy sort of morning person. Vaati on the other hand, most decidedly was not.

"Seven?" he repeated back incredulously, "Wake me up in four hours" And he tried to go back to sleep on the glass.

Suvi strolled right over to him and held him up by his cape, his little legs pedalling the air uselessly. "Not a chance mister, I've got my magical healing exam this morning and we've got to get to the potion shop before then"

She plonked him down gently, but abruptly on his bottom as she turned to dress herself, but suddenly stopped in her tracks as she realised he was still watching her.

"Turn around" she ordered, clutching the side of her pajamas.

Vaati forked his eyebrows at her. "Pfft….Make me"

Suvi's face darkened and she let go of her pajamas, advancing menacingly on the midget mage. "Oh I'll make you"

All in all being thrown in the bottom of a glass jar didn't turn out to be nearly as painful as Vaati originally expected. Sure he would have a bruise on his rear but at least she hadn't but him in the tarantula tank like she initially threatened. And there was the rather distracting game of doodling profanities in the fogged up glass walls of his prison to keep him amused.

"Ooooooh, what a little cutie"

The 'woman' that owned the potion shop cooed over the purple fairy sitting on the shoulder of the girl that had strolled into her shop just a moment earlier.

Vaati recoiled in horror, and beat a hasty retreat behind Suvi's braided hair. The woman was…large, to put it politely, yet she wore an extraordinarily tight dress of thin red fabric that seemed to cling in all the wrong places, the rolls and bulges putting Vaati in mind of a well tied brisket. Her brittle black hair showed grey roots that were accentuated by her thin (and greying) eyebrows and slight hint of a moustache. Vaati felt the chunks and bile beginning to rise into his throat.

"Suvi, this really isn't necess…" he began.

"Not a chance" she hissed back, cutting him off, "don't think I've forgotten about the last little stunt you pulled"

Suvi turned back to the potion shop woman, smiling sweetly to veil the animosity between her and her companion. The woman, Irma, gleefully clasped her hands together and gazed at the pair as if they were the most delightful creatures in Hyrule.

"So, what can Irma do for you cute kids today?"

"Oh he is just too cute", Irma clucked again, "I could just eat him up. What did you say his name was? Farty?"

Vaati's face darkened with venom.

"Vaati" Suvi answered, as she placed her pinkie finger over the sorcerer's mouth, gagging him before he could answer, not that it was easy to understand him in munchkin mode anyway.

The colour from Irma's face drained away and her small purple eyes widened in horror. Apparently, the name rang a bell. Before Vaati could hide behind the curtain of Suvi's hair the rotund woman picked him off by the scruff of his cloak and placed him inside a jar, sealing the lid closed tightly.

_Not again!_

Vaati hammered his tiny fists against the transparent prison and could only watch helplessly as the Potion Shop woman pulled his companion to one side for a 'little chat'.

"Listen, I know he seems like a charmer, but this one; he's trouble my dear. Oh you're far too young to know about the things he's done, people whose lives were ruined, even the girls he…"

"Oh no no no," Suvi interrupted, "You don't understand. He's not _that_ Vaati!"

The woman appeared visibly taken aback, so Suvi went on.

"I think he's a distant relative, but I assure you he's quite harmless, friendly even"

The woman's expression changed from surprise to a warm smile.

"Aaah I see, well when you put it that way, he is…quite adorable"

Vaati's ears pricked at hearing the word.

_Did she just call me….adorable? The yellow girl will pay for this!_

"Oh yes, he's quite the little sweetie, in fact…..I think he likes you!"

Irma's smile widened and she began to flutter her eyelashes and preen her hair, trying to look as seductive as possible.

"Really? Moi?" she gushed.

Suvi's mischievous grin curled up on her pointed face.

"Oh yes, he told me so himself when he hid behind my hair. He's so shy, but he said he'd just love for you to just call him snuzzikins"


End file.
